


infernum in terra

by haknyeonsmrjoo



Series: Paradiso e Inferno [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: But it Feels So Good, Don't Judge Me, Don't Like Don't Read, M/M, are you all happy now, don't confine arts and writing into clean and pure themes lol, i am sinful, if you're not comfortable then go, my soul is in hell right now, sinful, sorry - Freeform, started keeping the hanky-panky to a bare minimum, you can ask me for the rated version privately
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-01-01 06:50:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12151023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haknyeonsmrjoo/pseuds/haknyeonsmrjoo
Summary: Bae Jinyoung is an upright church boy. Lee Daehwi is the personification of the seven deadly sins disguised in a church boy's body.





	1. one. libidine

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a challenging piece to me, and even though I have written several smut pieces, this is a challenge to me because this is my first smut since last year.
> 
> If you're not comfortable with reading it, then don't read it. Simple as that.
> 
> This is going to be like five chapters. I will try my best not to be as sexually focused, and this will have a story, I promise.
> 
> We have our own opinions and please respect that. Thank you.
> 
> EDIT: I lowered the tags, made it Mature and kept the hot stuff to a bare minimum.

**_one: libidine_ **

_***_

Bae Jinyoung ran to his room the moment the front door opened.

He went straight to his room, locking the doors, making sure no one would disturb him from what he would be doing behind the locked doors.

He took off his shoes with an impatient air, freeing himself of the footwear as well as the socks. His breathing patterns are ragged, hoarse, as if someone outside is after his blood. He tried his best to calm himself.

After composing himself, he went to his bed. The bed was still messy, because he hadn’t fixed the beddings yet (he overslept and he was running late to his church’s Sunday service) but he thought it would be messy again so it’s no use to tidying it up.

He lied down on the bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling. Millions of thoughts are running in his head right now, and a nagging part of him is chastising him of thinking about those thoughts when he was just “cleansed for his sins” after going to church. Still, he couldn’t help it.

_Lee Daehwi is so hot._

_Lee Daehwi is a walking temptation._

_Lee Daehwi is aphrodisiac personified._

His heart beats wildly on his chest, his hands turning clammy and cold. This isn’t the first time he’s doing it, but all the circumstances are still unfamiliar to him.

It is a risk, yet it feels so exhilarating for him.

 ** _You have just cleansed your soul from sins, so why make yourself dirty again?_** Said a nagging voice on his head.

_It felt so good, why not entertain it?_

**_Don’t throw the Lord’s forgiveness that easily, Bae Jinyoung. Don’t even entertain those thoughts._ **

_But Daehwi looked so hot on those skinny jeans._

**_Don’t disappoint the Lord._ **

“Ah, fuck it,” Jinyoung uttered, shoving his hand inside his jeans.

 

Jinyoung shoved his hand inside his jeans, the other hand caressing his chest in various patterns. His breathing becomes more shallow and ragged by the minute, and a thin film of sweat has formed on his furrowed forehead. The contrast between his warm groin and the coldness of his sweaty hands created a wonderful sensation. He groaned.

 

Minutes later, he was squirming in his bed. His free hand gripped the bed sheets, crumpling it tightly.

The heat pooling in his stomach intensified. He knew he was nearing his climax. He stroked harder.

“D-Daehwi, I love you, aaaah.”

His heavy breathing and the moans filled his room, not caring if his parents would hear him vilify himself even after receiving grace from the Communion. He didn’t care about being pure now, he just focused on reaching the climax which he would share with Daehwi, sooner or later.

Moments later, he felt the electricity flow from the top of his head down to his manhood as he came. It was so powerful it left him at a loss of breath.

Jinyoung was still catching his breath. Undeniably this is his best climax, ever since he learned how to do the sinfully satisfying act when he was 13.

He started cleaning his body, using countless sheets of tissue to wipe the fluid out of his chest and face. Then, he looked for a change of clothes and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

 

As Bae Jinyoung allows the warm water flow all over his body in the bathroom, he came with a sudden realization.

He wants Lee Daehwi, and he would do anything and everything just to get him.


	2. two. epiphania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who are you, Lee Daehwi?” he managed to utter this question.
> 
> Daehwi smirked. “I am your epiphany, your awakening and your deviation. I am your sinful satisfaction. I am your guilty pleasure, Bae Jinyoung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So yeah, as expected, I received some negative comments about my work, saying that it's disgusting and inappropriate. I understand all of that and I do apologize if you guys didn't like it.
> 
> But guess what? I don't care.
> 
> There are archive warnings at the beginning of this story, so you are reminded that this is not your typical Jinhwi fic. Feel free to skip my fic, if this offended your standards, but I won't be bending to your requests of removing this fic because dude, I'm not here to satisfy your standards.
> 
> Rowling, E.L. James and many other authors wrote works that raised quite a lot of eyebrows. But did they back out of writing it? No.
> 
> Bible was, and still is, not universally accepted by millions of people, but did that stop the publishers to reproduce copies of it? NO.
> 
> So I won't be deleting this work. If you don't feel comfortable then go away. I'm not here to please you or what not.
> 
> And don't judge my love for Jinyoung and Daehwi because a single work cannot define who I am as a fan and as a person. Don't you dare judge me as an individual because I wrote this. I don't need to prove anything to anyone.
> 
> Thank you very much to those who gave kudos to my work, and some also messaged me on my SNS accounts. You know who you are, thank you.

**_two. epiphania_ **

_***_

 

Jinyoung’s church has its Youth Fellowship Services every Friday, and he is one of the facilitators in the breakout sessions. This has been a part of his Friday grind ever since he graduated from middle school, and he felt fulfilled and ready to share everything he knows to the youth of the church.

The thing is, this is not going to be easy for him today.

Lee Daehwi is attending the Youth Fellowship Services for the first time, and the sinister glint in his eyes when he locked gazes with the older is saying something. It is as if Lee Daehwi is not going to the services for spiritual purposes, but something even more, hmm, let’s say, unconventional.

 

Jinyoung was doing his business in the bathroom when Daehwi entered.

His presence must have an impact on the older, as he suddenly found zipping his fly a tedious task. Finally, he succeeded in doing so, and he went to the lavatory to wash his hands.

He felt something brush his arm, and he turned to look at Daehwi smirking, wiping his hands with the wet tissue wipes placed on the left side of the sink.

“Hello, Bae Jinyoung,” the younger greeted.

Jinyoung could just manage a nod, as he doesn’t trust his tongue at the moment.

The silence was suffocating, and suddenly it felt as if it became hotter by several degrees.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, y-yes, I am okay. Why did you ask?” Jinyoung mentally cursed himself for stumbling with words.

Suddenly he felt the younger patting his back. It was meant to soothe him, but Jinyoung stiffened whenever Daehwi’s hands would touch his back. His breathing became a little shallow, fortunately not that noticeable to the younger.

“I noticed that you are not that comfortable with me, am I right?” the younger asked, breaking the silence.

“It’s not that, don’t think that way,” Jinyoung denied. “It’s just that your presence is a little, umm, intimidating to me,” he finished his head bowed.

He is expecting the other to storm out of the bathroom, but he heard a peal of laughter coming out from the blond. He looked up, his eyebrows furrowed.

“You are so funny, Bae Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung was confused. _It’s not funny, you dimwit! You are making things worse for me._

“It’s not funny, Lee Daehwi!” he countered.

Daehwi stopped laughing. He stared at Jinyoung, his eyes filled with the usual mischief and malice. He inched closer to Jinyoung. The older gulped, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I know what you’re thinking. Do you want me to put them into words, Bae Jinyoung-ssi?”

Daehwi inched closer and closer, successfully cornering the older to the lavatory. Jinyoung’s back hit the front of the sink, so he just gripped the counter top for support.

The mischief in Daehwi’s eyes are replaced by white-hot fury, and raw lust.

“You want to bring me to the abandoned shed at the back of the church and do all of those sinful things inside your head, right?”

The remaining color in Jinyoung’s face left him. His lips were suddenly dry, and he felt like a fish out of water.

“Who are you, Lee Daehwi?” he managed to utter this question.

Daehwi smirked. “I am your epiphany, your awakening and your deviation. I am your sinful satisfaction. I am your guilty pleasure, Bae Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung gulped again.

Daehwi grabbed Jinyoung’s hands, placing it in his lips. He felt clammy, and he never imagined any part of his body to be close to Daehwi’s soft and plump lips.

Jinyoung’s eyes widened when the younger started kissing each digit, locking eyes with the older while the other tried his best not to moan because the sensation was otherworldly.

Daehwi kissed his hand one last time, still not breaking the staring game. The older found his breath, catching on it. Then Daehwi inserted his hand on Jinyoung’s back pocket, squeezing his butt cheek in the process.

“Call me. I’ll be waiting,” Daehwi whispered seductively to Jinyoung’s ear. He left the other alone in the bathroom, a malicious smile filling his face.

 

Bae Jinyoung had no idea what was going on at the moment, or if any of these things actually happened to him today, inside the church comfort room, on a Friday night.

But one thing is for sure: Lee Daehwi is not your typical churchgoer, and most certainly not your average human being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bash me on my curiouscat: minhyungshyung


	3. three. colatura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung is in for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and hormones.

**_three. colatura_ **

**_***_ **

****

Weeks after their encounter in the church bathroom, Jinyoung and Daehwi surprisingly got along well.

They are now texting constantly, 24/7, which is something because Bae Jinyoung still thinks that Lee Daehwi is out to suck his blood (and his other bodily fluids) and Lee Daehwi is being unpredictable: one moment he’s laughing with Jinyoung over a small joke, the next he’s trying to get into Jinyoung’s pants in the speed of light.

 

Apparently Daehwi left a piece of paper with his number and put it in the back pocket of Jinyoung’s jeans while squeezing the older’s butt in process. Hours later, while Jinyoung was changing his clothes, he felt the paper and he immediately remembered the whispered command of the younger. He suddenly looked for his phone, and even though he had dialed the number already, it took him another five minutes to text the other.

 **_baejin2000:_ ** _hello, lee daehwi_

Seconds later, Jinyoung heard a faint beep. Daehwi had replied already (it looks like he has been waiting for the other’s text for so long).

 **_leedaevid:_ ** _oh hello there, jinyoungie_

Jinyoung noticed the suffix, frowning.

 **_baejin2000:_ ** _ya, you should not speak comfortably to me yet. i’m older than you._

 **_leedaevid:_ ** _do i look like i care? besides, i should be comfortable to you since you want to get into my pants, in that abandoned shed, right?_

The older nearly dropped his phone.

 **_baejin2000:_ ** _you’re scaring me._

 **_leedaevid:_ ** _you should be._

Bae Jinyoung is now sure this boy is not easy to deal with. Looks like he’ll have a long day ahead.

 

It’s a Saturday, and Jinyoung is on his way to Daehwi’s house because the other invited him to spend the whole day with him. Daehwi assured him nothing will happen between them, and he just wanted to have someone to spend time with. Jinyoung’s schedule allowed him to go there because he finished his school work the night before (maybe because he also wanted to spend time with the other, for research purposes).

He bought snacks and drinks on his way. Daehwi insisted that he would be serving him meals, but Jinyoung said he’d feel more comfortable if he would bring something to him. Daehwi acquiesced, huffing but still he said yes.

Daehwi texted him the number code for his house. Jinyoung asked him as to what extent he finds him trustworthy and comfortable enough to even tell the number code for the door, and Daehwi simply answered that codes can be changed easily, anyway. He had to agree, this boy is also smart as hell.

Jinyoung dialed the combination to the lock, and it opened. He carefully opened the door, peeking at first. He opened the door a little more, entering with his jaw dropping to the floor.

Surely he didn’t realize Daehwi is a rich kid, but he didn’t ask that, nor he felt the need to do so. It’s surprising to see Lee Daehwi live in this grand house. Not as grand as the houses Jinyoung used to see in the dramas, but still beautiful.

He could hear someone showering in the bathroom, so he decided to make his presence known.

“Daehwi-ya, I’m here.”

No one answered him back, so he called once more.

“Lee Daehwi! I am here, where are you?”

He heard the shower being turned off, and a voice answered: “I’m in the bathroom, just wait there. Feel at home!”

Jinyoung hummed in response. He put the shopping bags on the table and made himself comfortable in the bean bags scattered in the living room.

Bae Jinyoung kept on replaying the scene in the church bathroom weeks ago. How could a fragile-looking, innocent kid like Lee Daehwi can make his insides squirm in delight? How could someone like him send shivers down his spine by just smirking?

Surely he’s not ordinary.

And why would he be interested in him? Or should he change the question: why did he become so interested in Lee Daehwi? Why, all of a sudden, he found Lee Daehwi on his radar? Why does he conjure up so many sensations in him?

Jinyoung is still confused, but whenever he sees the blond, he would feel a magnetic pull towards him. It is as if he should be with Lee Daehwi at all times, no matter what happens. The attraction is there, but are there feelings involved?

All his thoughts were broken when Daehwi’s voice filled the silence in the house.

“Jinyoung hyung, can you come over for a moment?”

Jinyoung’s brows furrowed.

“What is it?”

“Hyung, I realized I didn’t bring my underwear with me in the bathroom. Can you pick one for me?”

_What the actual hell? Is he trying to make a move again?_

“Don’t be ridiculous, hyung. I’m not trying to make a move to you, it’s legit. I need my underwear,” Daehwi said a millisecond later, seeming to have read the other’s thoughts. Jinyoung shook his head and he said, “Okay, which one?” He pulled the drawer open, only to see various kinds of underwear in different colors.

He had to stop blushing over an article of clothing.

“Anything you’d like me to see into, hyung.” Jinyoung could envision Daehwi’s Cheshire cat grin in the bathroom.

Jinyoung picked a red Calvin Klein boxer brief, and he went to the bathroom door. He knocked.

“Just leave the door in the sink, hyung. I’m in the shower, and it’s far,” the younger commanded him.

Bae Jinyoung’s hands are turning clammy and cold again. _Get a grip, Bae Jinyoung!_

He turned the knob, opening the door.

He placed the underwear on the dry side of the sink, making sure Daehwi could reach it.

He was about to close the door when he saw movement in his peripheral vision.

After three seconds, Bae Jinyoung regretted his decision.

 

He sensed movement in his peripheral vision, and like instinct, he looked up to see what happened.

He saw Lee Daehwi’s naked back. The younger had his back at him, busying himself with scrubbing his shoulders with the red loofah.

Bae Jinyoung’s knees seemed to have turned into jelly, as he watched the water drops trickle from the shower head, down to his head, to his shoulders, cascading down on his back, and onto his round and supple butt cheeks.

Bae Jinyoung swallowed. He could feel all of his blood finding refuge on the southern part of his body. _Fuck, I’m hard._

His mind zoomed into overdrive. He cannot think straight anymore, all he wanted to do now is to slide that glass door open, go inside and do sinfully wonderful things with Daehwi all day long.

Daehwi seemed to have read the older’s thoughts and he turned to face the other.

 

Jinyoung was beyond shocked when he saw Daehwi facing him. His eyes travelled to the other’s body, devouring each inch he could with his eyes, as if memorizing every detail in the other’s body. Daehwi smirked.

 

He locked gazes with the older, and without any further ado, he pulled Jinyoung inside the shower cubicle.

 

“D-Daehwi! What are you doing?” Jinyoung wanted to smack himself over the head for stuttering.

“Giving you what you want,” was the simple answer from the younger. Jinyoung could feel the water seeping through his clothes.

A huge part of his mind tells him to just fuck it, go kiss Daehwi raw but the nagging part of his head tells him to step out and be a decent Christian boy.

So as a well-mannered, Christian boy, he should step out of the shower and go home, right?

Bae Jinyoung took a deep breath, muttering to himself.

“Ah, fuck it,” before he grabbed Daehwi’s wet head and slammed his lips into the other.

Daehwi smirked into the kiss, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Jinyoung’s neck as the kiss deepened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I just changed the story entirely over the weekend (mainly minimizing the smut parts and making it at least fitting for the rating I chose) but I assure you that this is still going to be amazing.
> 
> Thank you very much for the kudos, hits and those people who found this fic interesting at the very least. Your comments, whether positive and negative, are valued and please keep them coming! I can accept constructive criticism but please, no below the belt bashing. ^^
> 
> Also, I will have this beta'd later. I want you all to experience the rawness of this fic haha.
> 
> Updates will be almost regular, I need constant Jinhwi boost haha.
> 
> This chapter was inspired by their Clean perfume photos, and when I saw their photos, especially Daehwi's, I immediately thought of Neutrogena body wash and poof, this happened. This is also brought by "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" by Fall Out Boy on loop.
> 
> Comments are highly appreciated, I reiterate. Love you all! :)
> 
> Bash me on curiouscat: minhyungshyung


	4. four. incunctanter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung succeeds in seeing one of the many different sides of Lee Daehwi.

**_four. incunctanter_ **

**_***_ **

****

Jinyoung doesn’t have any prior experience in kissing people. Sure, he had kissed his parents but not the same way as he is doing right now. He’s used to giving smooches on the cheeks, but other than that, everything else is new to him.

That’s why he couldn’t help but wonder where he learned to respond to Daehwi’s kisses in the shower, with cold water trickling down his body. The water was cold, but oddly, he didn’t shiver from the temperature. His mind is too preoccupied with what’s happening in front of him.

Daehwi’s kisses were soft at first, but when he started responding, things became more heated, more passionate. Jinyoung just went with the flow, careful not to destroy it in any way possible. His lips were so soft, so plump, so pink, Jinyoung wonders how many others have tasted the other’s lips. He felt a little annoyed and a little pained thinking about that.

Jinyoung deepened the kiss, caressing Daehwi’s wet hair. Daehwi licked Jinyoung’s bottom lip, causing him to gasp in instinct. The younger went to push his tongue inside the other’s mouth. Daehwi poked Jinyoung’s tongue, as if provoking it to a swordfight. The older responded, their tongues intertwined with each other, as the younger’s hands proceeded to the older’s firm chest.

The kiss was deep, passionate, and ardent. It had passion in it, definitely, but Jinyoung felt something was missing.

Daehwi broke the kiss first, gasping for air. Now, Jinyoung had a clearer view of the other’s face. He didn’t realize until now that Daehwi is indeed, beautiful and worth of his attention (if his attention has any worth in it at all).

Daehwi’s lips were red from the kissing, his eyes having a telltale glance in it. Seeing the younger’s lips becoming all red and plumper made him grab the other’s head for more, but to his surprise, Daehwi pushed him away.

Jinyoung went blank. _Did I destroy the momentum? Did I do something wrong?_

“No, hyung. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Daehwi told him, his eyes now filled with tears. Jinyoung felt degrees more confused and bewildered. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, hyung. I’m fine,” the other assured him. “It’s me, not you. Now get out for a while, I will get you a change of clothes.” Daehwi opened the glass door and slightly pushing the older out. Jinyoung let his feet drag him outside, feeling confused all over.

_Now what is he on? Is he playing push and pull?_

 

After that incident in the bathroom (why do they always go do rated things in the bathroom?), Jinyoung waited for Daehwi to come out. The other did minutes later, handing him a change of clothes.

“You can get underwear from my drawer, I’m not sure if my briefs could fit that,” Daehwi motions to his crotch (Jinyoung blushed). Jinyoung grabbed a red boxer brief (again Calvin Klein) and saw Daehwi smirk in the corner. “You want to do couple stuff with me?”

“Ah, no, it’s not like that.”

Daehwi shrugged. He left Jinyoung in the corner, the other changing clothes. Miraculously, the clothes fit him like a glove. It has that cottony fresh scent, which Jinyoung can now identify as Daehwi’s.

 

The two decided not to talk about what happened hours ago and watched different shows on TV. Jinyoung was holding the remote control, flipping the channels lazily.

When the TV stopped at TVN, **_Reply 1988_** was showing. Daehwi said, “Stay there. I want that.”

Jinyoung obliged, letting the other watch how Dukseon practiced day and night for her stint in the Olympics. Daehwi was focused on the television screen, but Jinyoung was watching the other watching TV.

The television gave Daehwi a glow that seemed almost saint-like, as if the other was a painting from the Renaissance that came to life. He looked like a cherub, a cheeky one, but still angelic nonetheless. Every second Jinyoung took in looking at Daehwi made the other even more beautiful in his eyes.

Daehwi glanced at Jinyoung, and that broke his reverie. “I know I’m beautiful, Bae Jinyoung. Too beautiful for your supple Christian ass,” he said with his signature smirk. The younger reached out to squeeze the other’s butt.

The other shook his head, dodging the naughty hand.

 

They ate dinner on the coffee table. Daehwi cooked kimchi stew and fried some sausages for him and Jinyoung. They ate contentedly, laughing at each other’s joke and watching stuff they see on TV.

When Daehwi got finished with washing the dishes, he rejoined Jinyoung on the couch. The other draped his legs on top of Jinyoung’s lap. He looked at the legs in front of him, then back to the owner.

“Now you wanted to kiss my legs too? One at a time, sir,” Daehwi said, joking.

“Whatever you say, Daehwi,” Jinyoung countered, but he didn’t budge nonetheless.

They were watching **_If Only_** , to the part that the female lead was singing her song dedicated to her boyfriend.

“Do you know why I live alone, Jinyoung hyung?”

Jinyoung looked at Daehwi, then shook his head.

“I ran away from home.”

“Why?”

“My mum and I ran away from home when my father got too abusive, both physical and sexual,” Daehwi started. A lump started forming in Jinyoung’s throat, trying hard to swallow it.

“He would harass me and my mum, and if we resist, he would beat us. One day, my mum just couldn’t take the sight of her husband molesting her son; she packed our stuff and ran away far from him.

“A few years after, she got a job in the US, and I joined her. We stayed in LA for a long time, that’s why my name in Kakao is David.” An unreadable expression is on Daehwi’s face, and Jinyoung absentmindedly reached out to fix the other’s hair. Daehwi smiled at him, the first non-sexual smile he got from him ever since they met. He looked away from the older, staring at the window.

“My mum started seeing different men, and she got married to one. I don’t like the idea of having another man in the house, so even though he was kind, I still hated him. I decided to go back here, and this house is from Minhyun hyung, my stepbrother,” he continued. “I have so many issues and doubts, even to the church just because I’m gay. I hated the fact they wanted me to change or else my soul would burn in hell. If the church teaches stuff like openness and equality, why can’t they accept the fact that people are born this way?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth to speak, but Daehwi shushed him.

“No, hyung, I don’t want to hear bullshit from the Bible. I’ve had enough,” the other said, coldness in his voice really evident. “I am still hesitant about the people from the church, because…” the other trailed away.

“What?”

“Oh, it was nothing. Maybe next time,” Daehwi brushed it off. “I went to the church because of you, hyung.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened, like the plates used in serving side dishes.

“Ever wonder why?” Daehwi said. Jinyoung shook his head.

“Well, it’s because I saw you helping the elderly one time I passed by your church. I decided that you’re handsome, and I want to hit on you, but you’re in a church. I gathered all my courage to even step inside your building, so you must pat me at my back for being so courageous for you, hyung,” the other chuckled.

They were silent after this. Jinyoung was trying to process everything.

_So Daehwi is not really an average kid, and he must have liked him._

 

Jinyoung was surprised to see how easy it is for Daehwi to unravel a side of his life that he must have difficulties to share to others. He felt grateful, and he made a mental note to be there for the younger, after hearing this.

Why? He still doesn't know. He still blames the unknown force.

 

The grandfather clock started banging its bells, signaling the time. “Oh, sorry, it’s too late now. I’m sorry to hold you up like this, hyung,” Daehwi apologized.

“Nah, don’t say sorry,” Jinyoung replied. He swallowed hard, and then said, “Can I stay the night with you?”

Daehwi must have been surprised, but he was quick enough to not let it show to his face. “Sure, but we’re sleeping with each other.”

Jinyoung gaped. Daehwi sniggered.

“No, just cuddle me, please. I feel secured when I’m with you.”

 

Jinyoung has no idea how it happened, but now he was lying on Daehwi’s bed, with the other’s head on his chest. Jinyoung hoped Daehwi won’t hear the erratic beating of his heart in his chest, and he tried to still his breaths.

He played with the others hair, and hearing Daehwi purr into his chest, he must have liked it. He snuggled closer to the other, inhaling the cottony fresh scent of the boy’s body wash.

 

He could get used to this. He won’t get tired of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I just needed this chapter to appear to establish the story a little more, and to prove to everyone that this won't be just an erotic literary piece.
> 
> I had fun thinking of how far would I extend in terms of the kissing scene, like should I go all the way, or should I just leave it at that? I had internal thoughts and alternative plots and sequences that lasted until 2am haha, so I fell asleep while thinking about how to execute the plot even better.
> 
> Initially, I thought of this as a five-part smut series, but I thought that it would be better if I add some more depth and substance on it, and here it is now.
> 
> There are some parts of Baejin and Daehwi that are inconsistent, but I let them be because being too perfect to the plot robs it of its charm. People are inconsistent too, in one way or another. It's like a way for me to keep this as realistic and as relatable as possible.
> 
> Thank you very much for subscribing to this word vomit and you guys have been my inspiration and motivation to do better.
> 
> And yeah, Daehwi has this ability to hear what Jinyoung is thinking. It's kinda based on Sim Cheong's ability in Legend of the Blue Sea, haha.
> 
> The next updates would be slower, but I'll try to keep up the momentum. Love you all!
> 
> My curiouscat is still open, bash me haha: minhyungshyung


	5. five. fructus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung shares a side of him and another night with Lee Daehwi.

**_five. fructus_ **

**_***_ **

****

Jinyoung woke up to the blazing rays of the sun seeping through the window. It took him three seconds to realize that he was not in his room, and another three seconds to realize that Lee Daehwi is breathing against his neck.

He also has morning wood.

In any other day, he wouldn’t have any problems with it, but today is different. Daehwi is very close to him in terms of proximity right now, and actually, his arm is brushing against his crotch.  _The other Jinyoung_ twitched, making him conscious all of a sudden.

He tried to shift his position without waking the other up, to no avail. He tapped Daehwi, asking him to wake up.

“Daehwi-ya, wake up.”

The other budged, stretching with his arms and legs fully until he rolled out of Jinyoung and all the way to the floor. Jinyoung heard him groan in pain, and he stood up immediately.

“Are you okay?”

Daehwi groaned once more, reaching out for the other’s outstretched hand. Jinyoung lifted him up, and when the other managed to stand up, he was surprised when the younger pushed him back to the bed, and the other laying down on top of him.

“D-Daehwi, stand up,” Jinyoung stammered.

“No, I won’t. Let’s just cuddle here for the rest of the day. I don’t feel like standing up,” Daehwi pouted. Jinyoung found it too cute and he just wanted to squish the other’s cheeks for his enjoyment. “I don’t feel like standing up, but I like feeling you and _this,_ ” he grinds the other’s crotch (which still has a hard on in it) _standing up._ ” He licked his lips seductively.

Before Jinyoung could lose his sane, Christian mind again, he stood up abruptly.

Ignoring the whining from the younger, he headed to the bathroom. He immediately locked the door and stood up behind it. He clutched his heart absentmindedly.

“Lee Daehwi, you’re going to drive me crazy first thing in the morning,” he groaned, his hand slipping inside his pajamas to release his pent-up frustration, thanks to the younger blond.

 

Jinyoung came out of the bathroom, being greeted with a sight of Daehwi cooking breakfast for him. Daehwi was standing with his back at him, wearing an apron and frying two eggs in the pan.

He doesn’t know what force pulled him to do it, but the next moment Jinyoung had his arms around Daehwi’s slender waist. He felt the other stiffen for a tinny bit, but resumed to the task in front of him.

He buried his nose in the other’s head. “Good morning.”

Daehwi hummed. “So, we are now dating, no?”

 

Jinyoung hasn’t really considered what their relationship is, if there is anything between them to begin with. He likes Daehwi, maybe more than a friend, and if you let the _other Jinyoung_ do the talking, he liked the other enough to surrender his virginity to him. He likes to be with Daehwi for some unknown reason. He still couldn’t point a finger to it, but certainly he enjoys the other’s company, maybe a little more than the recommended dosage.

Had he considered dating the younger? Yes, it did cross his mind. However, his Christian upbringing is nagging on him like a nosy mother but Jinyoung knows from himself that he is definitely not straight. He had to hide it, though, to dodge the disappointment this could have caused to his parents. His parents are staunch Christians, and sadly, they are on the radical side of the fence. He could remember his mom and dad leaving him and his brother Woojin to his aunt (who is luckily more open-minded than her sister, his mom) to join the anti-gay parades they used to do whenever gays would have their Pride Parade once a year.

His mom taught him that a union must be between a man and a woman _exclusively,_ and his dad hates gay people as much as he can. That is the reason why Jinyoung refused to share most of his life to his parents, knowing the worst case scenarios would happen anytime and he decided to be silent about it, even to his brother.

 

Jinyoung went back to the present. “I still don’t know,” he started. He could feel the other deflate, so he tightened the hug. “We still have lots of things to know to each other, I guess. I mean, you shared a bit of yourself last night and that was surprising but I understand now why you act like this on some instances.”

Daehwi smiled a little. “I can accept that.”

 

After eating breakfast, Daehwi asked Jinyoung if he could stay with him one more day, which Jinyoung agreed. He just needed to go back home to get some clean stuff and ask his parents about it. Daehwi reluctantly let him go in the afternoon, but Jinyoung had promised to go back, so the other huffed.

Nothing much happened at home, so apart from asking him where he would go next, Jinyoung had no problems asking his parents to let him stay for another night with Daehwi.

He knocked at the other’s door, because he asked him to change the combination this morning. Daehwi didn’t tell him the new code, so he had no choice but to ring Daehwi.

Daehwi opened the door for Jinyoung, and he asked him to feel at home. Jinyoung settled on his favorite seat, that blue bean bag beside the coffee table.

They decided to watch _Dirty Dancing_ and Jinyoung had the hardest time to calm down, because Daehwi’s head was on his lap the whole time and he could feel _the other Jinyoung_ wanting to make his presence known.

When the film reached its climax, Jinyoung nearly had a heart attack when Daehwi decided to turn his head, facing the other’s crotch.

“Ya, Lee Daehwi, stop!”

Daehwi chuckled. “Don’t you like it?”

Jinyoung tried pushing him away, but the other won’t budge. Defeated, he just let the other do his thing provided that he won’t do something crazy or he would go home. The other giggled, snuggling closer to the other’s crotch.

 

Minutes after the film had finished, Jinyoung yawned loudly.

“Sleep with me again?” Daehwi offered.

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows.

“We’ll just cuddle, again. Promise,” the other said, showing his pinky.

 

Jinyoung and Daehwi had changed clothes and were now settled in the other’s bed. Daehwi’s head was on Jinyoung’s chest once again and the older wrapped his arms around the other.

“Tell me about yourself, Jinyoung hyung.” The younger faced him, eyes twinkling.

“Hmm,” Jinyoung started.

He started telling about the basic facts about him, and some of his deepest darkest secrets (“The worst thing you have done is you missed reading the daily devotion because you jerked off to some B-rated movie? Dude, you’re very amateur,” Daehwi scoffed). Jinyoung felt embarrassed about it but he felt comfortable with the other, so the embarrassment wasn’t that huge.

“I know I’m not straight, Daehwi-ya,” the older said.

Daehwi hummed in response, telling him to go on.

“I really want to be your boyfriend, and stuff, but I’m really afraid about what would happen to me once I tell this to the people around me. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I don’t want to have any regrets in the future, so I’m torn now.” His voice is indeed full of worry, and he felt stinging heat in his eyes.

Daehwi hugged him tighter. “I’m not forcing you to say yes immediately, but I just want you to know that I am here for you. That’s the least thing I could offer. I’m having trust issues with everyone until now,” the other said, “but for you, I would be ready to lower them down. That’s how much I like you, Bae Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung smiled. “Thank you very much. I like you, too,” he said, kissing the other’s hair.

He buried his face in the other’s head, and then Daehwi rose, leveling his face to his and then closing the gap between them.

The kiss they shared this time is slow, as if they’re just savoring each other’s lips, with nothing carnal in it.

The kiss deepened even further, and Jinyoung hands slipped inside Daehwi’s shirt. The other arched his back when the older reached for his nubs, gently squeezing it.

Daehwi was the first one to break the kiss, once again. “I don’t like to continue this. You’re not ready yet.”

 _The other Jinyoung_ would like to argue back, but Jinyoung himself felt that timing should be perfect for an event this major and life-changing.

“Let’s just kiss and cuddle?”

Daehwi kissed him back as an answer, and the other responded.

 

They kissed and made out until they grew tired and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to release this chapter as a backstory for Jinyoung, because I just did one for Daehwi. This would smooth out the plot for the explosive chapters and major developments in the story.
> 
> I just needed to get this out of my head, and because a lot of people are still waiting for more depth, here you go.
> 
> Unbeta'd, so I will edit this tomorrow I think.
> 
> Just a heads up, the next chapter would have two versions. I will post the rated version for thirty minutes, then take it down and release the clean version. I just love AO3's PDF format so I need to do it. Just let me live for thirty minutes, people.
> 
> And for those who are asking about the seven deadly sins, I won't be explicitly stating about those, well except from lust, which would be a recurring character throughout the fic. I'd just give bits of details and hints, like for this chapter, it's sloth (and lust).
> 
> Comments, kudos and such are appreciated.
> 
> And hey, my Curiouscat is dry! Please water it up @minhyungshyung
> 
> Love you all~


	6. six. cupiditatem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung unravels another side of Daehwi, and he comes to a realization.

**_six. cupiditatem_ **

**_***_ **

****

Jinyoung and Daehwi’s friendship blossomed over the course of spring, and it’s safe to say that they are each other’s half. Even though Daehwi isn’t really sold on the church yet, he still attends the services because Jinyoung is there. If Jinyoung won’t be attending, due to a school project or an exam, he won’t be attending at all. People around him would say that they are a “package deal”: the other only comes when the other is present, otherwise none of them would attend at all.

Daehwi doesn’t really care at all, as always.

 

Jinyoung doesn’t really pry on to the other’s life, either, believing that Daehwi would open himself up to him, one step at a time. Besides, the other feels confident and comfortable enough with him. He decided that he would wait for times when Daehwi would, once again, shed off that coat, shatter that wall around him, to bare himself once again to Jinyoung.

 

“Ah, hyung, I want to go home now.”

Daehwi whines to Jinyoung, one night in the church office. Jinyoung, as one of the facilitators in the Youth Services, was tasked to finish some tasks that are due the next Youth Service, which would fall on a Sunday. The older insisted to finish it, so that he would have more time to spend with Daehwi. Jinyoung practically lives in with Daehwi on weekends; going straight to the other’s house on Friday night, spending time with each other throughout Saturday, and going home Sunday evening to get ready for school on Monday. Daehwi does not study anymore, due to him being accelerated and given a special degree while staying in the States, so he has all the free time to himself, something Jinyoung would seriously envy to him.

Jinyoung looks up from the laptop. “I’m gonna be done after this, just roll over there or something,” he said, smiling at Daehwi. The other pouted, and Jinyoung swears to the Holy Spirit he’s going to combust in flames that moment.

“I want to go home, I want to eat, and I want to cuddle.”

“We always cuddle, Daehwi. Don’t you get tired?” Jinyoung chuckles, returning his focus back to his task at hand.

“I won’t get tired of you, hyung,” the other huffs.

Silence ensues after. The atmosphere seems pregnant with anticipation, and Jinyoung has one thing to ask to the other.

“Daehwi-ya, what are we?”

Daehwi looks up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what’s our status?”

“Why do we need labels, are we consumable products?” the younger throws back, the trademark sass evident in the tone of the sentence.

“No,” Jinyoung immediately denies. “It’s just that, I would feel comfortable knowing what to do and not to do with you, you know, not crossing lines or anything.” He scratches the back of his head.

Jinyoung needs to know, because given that Daehwi is still guarding himself, he needs to know when to pry or what to ask. For that, he would need labels. Jinyoung is very particular to such details, because he had a bitter past about that (he thought he has a best friend in him already, but the other just doesn’t seem like doing the same for him, and they lost contact to each other. From what he can remember, the other is in Busan now) and he doesn’t want to repeat that mistake.

“I’m not that much into labels, hyung.” Daehwi breaks the silence.

“I don’t like sticking labels into relationships, I just let them grow and flow freely. You know, people should interact to each other without thinking of what’s between them. Labels, while helping people identify what to do and what not to do also hinders them to, you know, explore and to be more creative in their interactions and relationships. Let’s just remain this way.”

Jinyoung wonders how old this guy really is, because for his age, his thoughts are so profound and it makes his jaw drop on several occasions, including now.

“Hyung, I’m of legal age of consent, and so are you, but you’re way older than me, and yeah I heard your thoughts.” Daehwi chuckles, as if it’s not really creepy hearing someone else’s thoughts as though they said it, like verbally.

“How can you do that? You’re scaring me, Lee Daehwi,” Jinyoung says, fake horror in his voice.

“I dunno, I got this since when I was a child. I know what people think of me, and that’s why I don’t really establish relationships to people. You cannot hide anything from me, really.” The other laughs.

 

Jinyoung and Daehwi finally get to go home, but fate has other plans for them.

“Shit, the door is locked,” Jinyoung announces to the other, who had just come down of the stairs. They try forcing the door open, but to no avail. The door is locked from inside out, maybe because huge amounts of money are in the church treasury, as rumors are to be believed in. Jinyoung doesn’t know and he doesn’t have much interest to invest, anyway.

“Try calling Jaehwan hyung,” Daehwi suggests. Jinyoung sighs and dials the number. Jaehwan is his senior in the church, and judging from the unanswered calls, he must be doing his daily meditation and Bible reading.

“He must be doing his meditation,” Jinyoung says, looking up at Daehwi.

Daehwi’s face frowns. “At 8 in the evening? Seriously?”

Jinyoung nods. Jaehwan usually does his spiritual cleaning up earlier than the others for some unknown reason.

“We have no choice, but to stay here for the night.” Jinyoung pockets his phone.

“I don’t like staying here, hyung.” Daehwi sounds really afraid.

“Don’t be, you’re with me.” Jinyoung pulls him to a hug.

 

They decide to stay in the mezzanine of the worship hall, where cushioned pews are available for the elderly and the senior members of the church to sit in during worship services.

Jinyoung sits closer to Daehwi, allowing the other to rest his head on his shoulder.

They were just admiring the silence when suddenly, the power went out.

“Hyung? What happened?” Daehwi asks, shaking.

“The power went out.”

“Stating the obvious?”

“For someone who’s really afraid, you’re quite sassy, huh?” Jinyoung flicks the other’s forehead gently.

“It’s raining outside. Thunderstorms will happen. Lightning will happen. Hyung, I’m afraid.”

“Did something happen to you on a dark, stormy day?”

Daehwi looks up to him, eyes glistened with tears.

“Are you willing to listen, hyung?”

Jinyoung nods.

 

Jinyoung can’t control his arms from shaking after hearing Daehwi’s story.

“What kind of father do you have?” he asks, not hesitating to mask away his anger towards Daehwi’s father.

“A sadistic, abusive, and a perverted one,” Daehwi answers, raw pain embedded in his voice.

Daehwi’s father sexually assaulted him at the tender age of ten. When his mum refused to sleep with him, one stormy night, he saw Daehwi wearing short shorts in his bedroom, sleeping, and he decided to have his way on him. Daehwi pleaded earnestly, begging his father not to do it, but his father just slapped him, threatening him to kill him and his mother if he resisted. Daehwi lied on his bed, crying, while his father undresses him and takes him as if he was a slave, a prostitute, a dirty slut.

Not only his father had vilified him, but he would invite his friends in their house, and Daehwi would have to bite his lips shut while those pigs took advantage of him and his mum.

Jinyoung wants to come out and beat the shit of those pigs out of them, and the level of anger he is in right now is no joke.

He grabbed the other closer to him, hugging him tightly. The other sobbed uncontrollably, feeling the pain and the horror coming back to him once again.

“Hyung, please don’t leave me, please,” the younger sobs into the other’s chest. Jinyoung feels his shirt becoming wet, but he doesn’t care. He hugs him tighter, closer to him. He won’t let anyone lay a finger on Lee Daehwi, never ever.

 

A clap of thunder jolts them back to reality. Daehwi looks up to him, eyes wet with bitter tears.

“I love you, Jinyoung hyung,” the other mutters, trying to look away from the older.

Jinyoung brings his face closer to him, saying, “I love you too, Daehwi.”

Their lips meet, filling in the gap between them. They kiss, passion slowly eating the two of them up. Jinyoung feels hot, he cannot breathe well. He pushes Daehwi away from him, saying, “This isn’t the right time, and this is not the right place, and I don’t want you to feel that I’m just using you to fulfill my needs. Daehwi, you are more than that.”

Daehwi smiles at him. “I consent to this; you are not violating me whatsoever.” The other sits in his lap, kissing him again with the same amount of passion as Jinyoung’s.

 

Amidst the loud pitter-patter of the rain in the windowsill, the claps of thunder and the flashes of lightning, Lee Daehwi and Bae Jinyoung do the Devil's dance, bringing them closer to one another, and making Bae Jinyoung realize something.

**_He has fallen in love to Lee Daehwi, hard._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hi there, everyone! Thank you very much for waiting.
> 
> Some people started attacking me, all for the same reasons, and apparently they didn't bother to read thoroughly. I am having a hard time using euphemisms for the rated stuff, and I am doing my best but these people just don't want to let me live in peace.
> 
> Still, thank you very much for visiting this fic, you are contributing hits on my fic. ^^
> 
> This one is a pretty heavy one, based on the revelations and I will beta it soon, because I feel Baejin's reactions are lacking. I just needed to release my babies out there.
> 
> Thank you for your continuous support, and I hope you continue subscribing in for the fun parts. As a heads up, the next chapters would be more angsty, and there would be some interesting episodes, too. I look forward for your comments, good or bad! :)
> 
> I love you all, and just message me on my Curiouscat: @minhyungshyung


	7. seven. propugnatio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung sees a side of Lee Daehwi and prays this isn't the end of the world, or his world.

**_seven. propugnatio_ **

**_***_ **

****

That major incident in the church really made Daehwi and Jinyoung closer in so many aspects. It was like another door towards the real Lee Daehwi was unlocked, and the two of them are remarkably closer than they have ever been.

 

That being said, Daehwi doesn’t like the way Jinyoung’s senior church leaders treat him every time they ask Jinyoung to do something for the club. Daehwi has talked to the older about it several times, and Jinyoung just tells the other that he has no right to say something about it, and they haven’t even done real harm to him, so he just shrugs it off.

“So you have to wait for them to maul your head before saying something?” Daehwi says, his patience wearing thin one night.

“No, I don’t think that will happen, Daehwi-ya,” Jinyoung says, closing the laptop after finishing yet another task given to him by his church leader. He climbs to their shared bed, snuggling Daehwi closer like a teddy bear. The younger still has his back towards him, still huffing because his boyfriend (?) doesn’t really have the bones to stand up.

“Hyung, I love you, but this has got to stop,” Daehwi says.

“Okay, I will tell them. Thank you very much for making me special.” Jinyoung buries his face in the other’s head, sniffing the other’s cottony fresh scented hair.

 

Unsurprisingly, Jinyoung does not really talk to his leaders about it. They still continue overworking him, asking him to do things they can do themselves, such as getting a glass of water or printing out files for the club.

Daehwi watches the situation in front of him, his eyes narrowing every 30 seconds. Jinyoung still has his head bowed, the youth pastor scolding him for getting the wrong file printed. Well, if that pastor had told Jinyoung clearly which file he likes, instead of talking to other people constantly, this wouldn’t happen.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” the older keeps his head bowed.

“You should have listened to me carefully, you fool,” the youth pastor says. He asks Jinyoung to print the correct file this time. Jinyoung bowed, and walks toward Daehwi’s direction.

“One more time, Bae Jinyoung. You don’t want me talking about this to that moron,” Daehwi says, that icy coldness biting him like a snake.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. I’m okay, it’s my fault.” Jinyoung scratches his head.

“It would have been better if that _ass,”_ Daehwi bites back, his gaze piercing through that youth pastor seated while munching his pizza, “had told you clearly which file he wants. You don’t like me when I get angry, hyung.”

Jinyoung discreetly kissed him on his forehead, then goes to the printing station.

 

“What the hell, Jinyoung-ah!”

The youth pastor raises his voice at him, his head on the default bowed position. Apparently, the printer had run out of ink, and he can’t print the file he needs anymore. Jinyoung keeps on apologizing but it seems that the older man has no interest on his reasons.

“You’re incompetent; you can’t even do that simple task. What do you call yourself?”

“I’m very sorry, hyung.”

“As if that can make up from your mistakes, you incompetent wimp. Now get your small face out of my sight,” the older man dismisses him, not after he throws the papers in front of the younger. Jinyoung’s ears are red from the shame and embarrassment, and he’s a stroke closer in crying.

 

Daehwi can’t take it sitting down.

Clearly, he won’t take that sitting down. He stands up, goes to the youth pastor’s desk and grabs that lone slice of pizza lying on the box.

Then the unexpected happens. Jinyoung’s eyes widen and his jaw is scattered on the floor.

 

Daehwi slams the pizza right on the youth pastor’s face.

 

The youth pastor, clearly shocked, sputters. “What the hell? Why did you do that?”

Daehwi takes a deep breath.

“You shameless fucker, you have no right to order Jinyoung hyung or anyone around as if you’re paying for their food and shelter,” the younger starts, fire blazing from his piercing stare down to his rapid cadence of the words.

“Shut your mouth, you’re in a church!” the older man sputters.

“Now look who’s talking, you imbecile,” Daehwi fires back. “You’re scared people can hear me utter such _fruity language_ while your actions clearly show what your true colors are, you apostate.”

The youth pastor gapes, his mouth forming a perfect ‘O’. He looks like that guy in Edvard Munch’s painting.

Jinyoung tries to pull the younger out of the room, but the other pushes him away. “Don’t drag me out, I’m not yet done.” Jinyoung drops his hold on Daehwi’s arm.

Daehwi stares back at the flabbergasted youth pastor.

“In case you don’t know, or in case your cerebellum went down to the drain the last time you took a dump, Jinyoung hyung here is a youth servant. A fucking _youth servant,_ ” Daehwi stresses the last two words. “He is not a servant of anyone else, but his God only, and I don’t think you have the right to order him around. You order him around, asking him to do tasks _that you can simply do on your own, like do you have those hands for ornaments?_ ”

The atmosphere in the room is tense, and the other staffs inside the office are also taken aback.

No one has the nerve to take him out, as he seems to have an eerily strong glow around him. It is as if he can kill you on the spot the moment you lay your hands on him.

Jinyoung sees another side of Lee Daehwi, and he swears to the Lord he won’t like to see it ever again.

“You have no right to order him that way if you are not paying him for food, shelter or education. His parents did not raise him to be some slave of a fox covered in sheep wool. You always ask him to do this and that, without even asking him if he already ate. That pizza you’ve been happily stuffing down your throat, did you even ask him if he would like it? No. You are a selfish, immoral, twisted blasphemer who prances around wearing that crucifix around your neck. You should be impaled to that cross upstairs, you are disgusting.” Daehwi spits the words as if it were poison.

He turns back to the horror-stricken man as he grabs Jinyoung’s arm, dragging him out of the room. Before opening the door, Daehwi stops.

“You need this, right?” he snatches the flash drive off Jinyoung’s hands.

“Well, I’m sorry but you have to do the whole project from scratch, and without Jinyoung hyung. He’s out of this fucking club. This youth church club thingy is a joke, you are all disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourselves, you heathens.”

Daehwi puts the flash drive on the ground, and he stomps on it with the heel of his shoes. Collective gasps fill the air, the device lay mangled and beyond repair on the floor.

"Also," Daehwi speaks up. "You don't really know how fashion works, no? Your color-blocking skills are awful, stop wearing that horrible scarf, for crying out loud, Matilda." He says to one of the gaping girls in front of him. "And you," he points to the other girl beside Miss Color Blocking Fail, "stop wearing that fake plastic tiara, Agnes, that's totally disgusting." The girls fumble to remove the offending pieces, trying to make themselves look presentable in Daehwi's eyes.

Daehwi drags Jinyoung out, slamming the door shut behind them.

 

The younger faces Jinyoung, his eyes still blazing with white-hot fury.

“I told you you’ll never like me when I’m angry, hyung.”

“You shouldn’t have done that, Daehwi-ya.”

“Then what? Should I let you be ordered around by those freaks while you keep your head bowed, saying yes this and yes that? I don’t like my boyfriend being treated like a fucking rag in front of me, no one has the right to do that to you.”

 

Jinyoung stops.

“B-boyfriend?”

Daehwi stops in his tracks.

“Yes, hyung. Why? You don’t like it?”

He hurriedly shakes his head.

“Ah, no, no! It’s not like that!”

Daehwi smiles. Jinyoung feels relieved, seeing that smile again after what happened minutes ago.

 

“Let’s go somewhere.” He puts his arms around the younger’s shoulder.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a secret. Just trust me. I love you, Daehwi-ya,” he whispers. Jinyoung blows hot air onto his ear for good measure.

The other smacked him playfully in his arm. “You better make it great, or I’m breaking up with you.”

Jinyoung looks around in alarm. “Ya, people might hear us!”

“Do I look like I care?”

Jinyoung chases Daehwi out of the church and into the main road.

 

Woojin is on his way back to the worship hall when he sees Jinyoung wrapping his arms around Daehwi and whispering something. He hears the younger telling his brother he loves him, and to his surprise, his brother doesn’t react negatively.

He texts Jinyoung, telling him that they need to talk later in the evening. Looks like his brother needs to tell him something, something  _really important._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya everyone! Thank you very much for the kudos, the hits and those warm comments on my Curiouscat and also here! I love seeing you guys smile, and I hope you're still loving the chapters!
> 
> Just a heads up: I won't be posting updates on Saturday until Tuesday, so the last update will be tomorrow and after that, I will post the next chapters when I get back from the province. ^^ Author-nim needs to get some fresh air lol
> 
> Please keep asking me on my Curiouscat: @minhyungshyung
> 
> I love you all!
> 
> PS: Did you see the Furonda reference? *winks*


	8. eight. conscia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung tells everything to his brother, and he didn't expect the outcome.

**_eight. conscia_ **

**_***_ **

****

Undeniably, Jinyoung enjoys hanging out with Daehwi no matter how simple or how rushed everything is.

They go to a dog café, and Daehwi squeals the moment small puppies greeted them by the entrance. Jinyoung himself is not that good in keeping pets, nor touching them (he fears he might get bitten for some reason) but spending time with Daehwi makes it one of his best memories with the younger.

By the time they part ways, Daehwi is in a remarkably positive mood, a 180 degree change from the fiery, feisty Daehwi he saw arguing with their youth pastor in the church hours ago. He just hopes it won’t reach their parents (who are now in a Christian convention overseas) and everything would go back to normal.

 

Or so he thinks.

He sees the text message his twin brother sends him, dated two hours ago. Jinyoung furrows his eyebrows. Woojin rarely asks him to talk, and when this happens, it must be something serious. As far as he’s concerned, he hasn’t done anything wrong, and he isn’t counting his relationship with Daehwi as something wrong. There’s nothing wrong between them. Love cannot be wrong.

He pockets his phone back and focuses on getting home the fastest way.

 

When Jinyoung arrives at home, he sees Woojin busying himself in the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re here?”

Jinyoung hums, going straight to the older.

“Have you eaten already? I cooked your favorite.”

Jinyoung gulps. He’s getting more and more confused as time goes by.

“Yay, that’s great.” He managed to say those words without even stuttering, so he thinks he’s good.

 

After a few minutes, Jinyoung and Woojin are now sharing their dinner to each other. Woojin can cook some dishes to save his life, so Jinyoung can worry nothing about food while his mom is away.

They were silently eating at first when Woojin breaks the ice.

“Are there any things you wanted to share, Jinyoung-ah?”

Jinyoung looks up to his brother.

“What do you mean hyung? Cut to the chase.”

Woojin looks back at him. Jinyoung tries to steady his vision.

“You and Daehwi, you’re a couple.”

It’s not a question that needs to be answered, but a statement that needs to be confirmed. Jinyoung’s lips suddenly become dry. He grabs the nearest glass of water and gulps it. He releases a sigh, and then looks back at his brother.

Jinyoung nods.

 

Woojin’s expression is unreadable. Jinyoung is scared, terrified of his brother. He’s his only best friend, prior to Daehwi, so he knows everything about him. _Does he know about me being gay for Daehwi?_

Add to the fact that twins have very strong intuition, Jinyoung’s dread increases tenfold.

Woojin’s blank face slowly morphs into a smile. His snaggletooth is showing, meaning the smile is nothing short of sincerity and knowing.

“I know, Jinyoung. I know you’re gay.” His tone is assuring, comforting. Jinyoung’s eyes widen.

“H-how? Am I too obvious?”

“No. It’s just that, we were born on the same day, sharing the same things all our lives, and I know you too well. You might be all stoic and blank, dark even at times, but to me, you are an open book. I know when it feels bad for you. I know whenever you feel happy, angry and most especially, I know when you’re in love.”

Woojin reaches for the other’s hand on the table, enclosing it with his. He squeezes it, smiling once again to Jinyoung.

“There’s nothing wrong with loving Daehwi. Love is love, it can never be wrong. Well, it might be wrong in the standards of the people around us, especially the church, but they have no idea how right love is. It just happens that we live in this universe full of double standards and inconsistencies. They have no right to tell you you’re immoral and sinful in loving Daehwi. There’s nothing wrong with it, Jinyoung-ah.”

Jinyoung’s tears fall one by one, followed by an uncontrollable urge to sob in front of his brother.

Woojin moves to Jinyoung’s seat, hugging him sideways. Jinyoung cries sad tears, tears he wasn’t able to show whenever he’s with Daehwi. His tears are soaking his brother’s shirt, but the other does not flinch. Instead, he hugs him closer to him.

When his sobbing fits have subsided, Jinyoung looks up at him. “Please don’t tell anyone else about it. I love Daehwi, and I cannot leave him alone. If only I could tell you everything, hyung. I promised him not to, but hyung, I cannot leave him like that. We need each other.” His words are filled with sorrow and love, and Woojin can’t help but tear up, too.

“Please tell me everything, next time. I’m here, I won’t ever judge you.”

Jinyoung nods. He feels really grateful towards Woojin, and he buries his face in his chest.

“Thank you very much, hyung.”

 

Woojin hugs Jinyoung, as they lay beside each other on his bed. He looks at the starry sky outside.

 _The world might not accept me and Jinyoung for what we are right now, but I promise to be with him. I will never leave him alone here_ , he thinks, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! This is a shorter chapter compared to the others, but I just poured in everything here. This is a tearjerker, I'm sorry about that.
> 
> As you can see, Woojin is a new character, and I made them twins because I know they can look good as siblings. He will have his own storyline some time soon, so please anticipate!
> 
> I'll be leaving from Saturday morning and will return on Wednesday afternoon, so that's the last update for now. Also, we just have, like seven chapters to go before this fic ends ultimately. I don't like this to be too long, or else it would be draggy and it would lose its charm.
> 
> This update is a little sucky, I'm very sorry about that! :/
> 
> Don't worry, I'll be writing a second installment for the Paradiso series. It's a very unlikely pairing, and I hope you continue supporting this!
> 
> Thank you very much for all the feedback and the hits and kudos, I love you all!
> 
> Water my Curiouscat while I'm away: @minhyungshyung


	9. nine. confirmation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung invites Daehwi to a getaway, and Lee Daehwi confirms his love to him once again.

**_nine. confirmatio_ **

**_***_ **

****

**Three months after…**

Jinyoung and Daehwi decide not to go to church for the meantime, and they’ve been doing it without any more qualms from the older (who, of course, initially did not agree with Daehwi’s idea, only to be convinced by Woojin that he will cover for him once his parents notice). They know a lot of things about each other now, which is a good thing. They are able to use the extra time to help each other (Daehwi’s been helping Jinyoung with his English essays) and also to improve each other’s status in their relationship.

Woojin and Daehwi meet on the second month, when the older insisted to Jinyoung that he should meet the younger. Despite his brother’s warnings, Woojin still meets Daehwi and surprisingly, they click well. Well, aside from the occasional sass spurts from Daehwi, they can get along pretty well.

All in all, Jinyoung’s life is back to normal, sans the church thingy. He admits to Daehwi that it feels refreshing and while it’s new to him, he thinks he can live without going to the church for the meantime. Not permanently, but claiming hiatus for the meantime. Daehwi drops the conversation; much to the older’s relief.

 

On the third month of Jinyoung’s disappearance in the church, Woojin invites him and Daehwi to join him on a beach vacation for three days. Apparently, Woojin won from a raffle draw he once joined when he bought yoghurt drinks in the convenience store near their house. The trip is for three people, and Jinyoung thinks it’s going to be a good thing, for the three of them to be close. He wants the two most important people in his life to be in friendly terms, at the most.

Daehwi accepts, surprising Jinyoung. “Wow, I never thought you’d be accepting this.”

“Well, I need a breath of fresh air. Woojin hyung offers it for free, so why not?”

Daehwi makes sense.

 

D-day comes. Daehwi and Jinyoung wait for Woojin to arrive. The company sponsors everything, from their trip fares, accommodation, down to their pocket money (they get $500 each) plus a big ice box full of the yoghurt drinks, in various sizes and flavors.

Daehwi squeals upon seeing the box. “Yay, finally, I won’t be dying miserably!” Jinyoung furrows his eyebrows.

“I mean, I have this –“ Daehwi gestures to the box, “so I will survive. But why am I explaining this to you?”

“You’re cute.” Jinyoung flicks his forehead playfully.

“I know, or else you’ll be stuck in that horror house every Sunday getting slaved by wolves in sheep’s fur.”

Jinyoung grips his arms painfully. Daehwi yelps but glares a deathly one to Jinyoung.

“Ya, I want my brother alive, Daehwi,” Woojin hollers from the sponsored car. “Get in, we’re running late!”

Daehwi huffs as he gets inside the car, waiting for Jinyoung to sit beside him, which the other one does.

 

The trip to the beach resort is mainly uneventful (well, unless you count out Daehwi’s rants to Woojin about the interior of the car – “Too old-fashioned, just like the winner” – and also criticizing the songs playing through the radio – “That’s why I hate turning on that radio, it plays trot on Sunday, what the hell?”) and after a couple of hours, they arrive to their destination.

The three of them are in awe. The beach resort is very beautiful. The sea boasts of turquoise colored waters (“Wow, just like Deepika Padukone’s Gucci dress, stunning” from Daehwi) and it looks like the owners decided to relocate the whole Santorini Island in Greece here in Korea.

“This is so swanky.” Daehwi gapes.

“What’s swanky?” Woojin asks the younger.

“It means beautiful, like me,” Daehwi replies without a blink.

“I don’t get it.” Woojin scratches his head. Daehwi smacks him over the head.

Jinyoung pulls Daehwi away from Woojin before any catfight ensues.

 

“Hello, I’m Bae Woojin, and these are my friends, Lee Daehwi and Bae Jinyoung,” Woojin says to the receptionist in the lobby of the hotel.

“Would you like to tell him about our favorite colors too?” Daehwi snickers behind Jinyoung. The older glares back at him.

“Oh hello there, welcome to Paradiso!” The receptionist finally faces them, and Woojin feels breathless all of a sudden.

The receptionist is very beautiful. He has caramel brown hair, handsome face, twinkling eyes and pink lips. He swipes his fringe away from his eyes. “I’m Park Jihoon, and I hope you enjoy your stay here! Here are your keys,” pushing the key towards Woojin, who grabs it hastily.

“Please call me if something happens!” The boy winks at Woojin, who has to be dragged by the younger ones away from the lobby.

“He’ll be calling you for sure, whoop whoop!” Daehwi hollers back to the smiling boy.

“Looks like your brother has some explaining to do, Jinyoung hyung.” Daehwi smirks at his boyfriend. Jinyoung couldn’t help but grin back.

“I hate the both of you. It’s not like that!” Woojin flails vainly to defend himself.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Let’s get our asses moving, the beach is inviting me and my swimsuits are ready!” Daehwi squeaks, running towards their room, which is also as swanky as the resort.

Daehwi and Jinyoung shares a room, and Woojin settles on the sofa bed in the living room. The sofa is big enough to fit him in, which is a good thing because Woojin hates cramped spaces.

After settling for a while, the three of them head to change into their swimwear. Jinyoung has to tear his eyes away from Daehwi when the other deliberately changes clothes in front of him.

“Daehwi, use the bathroom.” Jinyoung sounds like he’s imploring the other to preserve his sanity.

“I don’t like to use it.”

“Ah, Daehwi, please.”

“No. Change your clothes now, too. We don’t have much time.”

Jinyoung sighs as he takes his top off.

 

They spend their three days in complete luxury. They do water sports, swim in the sea, sun bathing, and overall enjoying their short term deluxe status.

Jinyoung and Daehwi walk along the beach, admiring the colors of the setting sun. The reds, oranges and yellows make a great combination, and they cannot help but stop and take in everything.

“Thank you very much, hyung.”

The older hears Daehwi, his voice full of sincerity. He smiles sweetly at him, squeezing their intertwined fingers gently.

“Thank you very much too, Daehwi. This is the happiest day of my life. I never imagined this, ever. I thought I would live my life in darkness and misery, but you came into my life. You were never afraid to splatter color all over my life. You were never afraid to drag me into places and situations, and you never made me a burden to you. I know not a lot of people like me, but you saw everything through me. I’m so happy to have this moment with you, and I want to wake up to a thousand mornings with you, and sleep to a thousand nights with you, by my side, always. I love you very much, and thank you for everything.”

Daehwi feels tears lining up in his eyes. He lets them flow freely; to show how touched he is with what Jinyoung says.

“Just don’t promise, hyung. Do it. Actions are better than words. Promises can be broken.” Daehwi says.

“I promise.”

Now looking back at the setting sun, Daehwi asks Jinyoung. “Hyung, do you want to know what the best thing to do here in the beach is?”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “What is it?”

Daehwi leans closer to Jinyoung, his hot breath tickling Jinyoung’s ear. “Going crab fishing in the Dead Sea, that is.”

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung shivers inwardly, his words barely understandable.

“You know, mm-hmm,” Daehwi hums as he traces Jinyoung’s lean stomach with his finger, then playfully skirting the other’s waistband.

“Daehwi, we could get caught!”

“By who? Woojin hyung? Nah, he’s trying to do the do with the receptionist. Haha, he’s so cute. I must teach him the ways,” Daehwi muses, his fingers slowly disappearing inside the other’s board shorts.

Jinyoung wants to resists, but Jinyoung Jr. wants to have this battle won, so he muttered, “Fuck it,” and followed Daehwi as the other drags him to the lone hammock placed on the far side of the beach. Not a lot of people go there, as it is sunset, so the place is safe for them.

 

Or so they think.

Meters away, someone clicks the shutter of the camera, capturing Daehwi and Jinyoung in their risqué rendezvous. With a smug smile, the hidden person stuffs the camera back to its bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I had the best vacation ever. My house in the province is now overlooking a majestic view of the ocean, so it got me thinking about the next chapters.
> 
> This chapter has a rated one, so I will email everyone who wants this. I'm going to have the rated one by Thursday, please wait!
> 
> I need to change Woojin's name, to fit the story. They're supposed to be brothers, after all.
> 
> There will be a short 2park story in the series, please wait for it!
> 
> Thank you very much for all the positive comments and the interest towards Infernum. I will be finishing this at chapter 15, and I hope you stay with me till then.
> 
> I love you all!
> 
> Water my Curiouscat: @minhyungshyung  
> Email me at: minhyungshyung@gmail.com
> 
> Toodles~


	10. ten. conparatio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung is not prepared for the worst confrontation he's going to experience in his life.

**_ten. conparatio_ **

**_***_ **

****

Jinyoung surely enjoys the company of his boyfriend. His brother is also there, which shows that he can freely enjoy himself, be himself and not worry about anything else because no one is out there to point him out in front of everyone.

For the first time ever, Jinyoung feels liberated and free.

 

The sponsored vacation ends up too quick for their liking, and they find themselves packing their bags and preparing to go home. The three of them check out before lunch time, and they see Jihoon manning the receptionist booth.

“Did you guys have fun?” the boy smiles, reaching out to Daehwi who gives the keys back to him.

“Absolutely, thank you very much for taking care of us, hyung,” Jinyoung says, smiling.

Jihoon smiles back, looking at Woojin more than to Jinyoung. “I will surely miss you, guys. I hope we can be friends outside the beach resort. May I ask for your numbers?”

Jinyoung nods, while Daehwi smirks. “You’re not getting all of our numbers just because you don’t want to look awkward getting Woojin hyung’s number alone, am I right?”

Woojin cricks his neck from turning his head towards the blond, while Jihoon shakes his head, seemingly unfazed by the impromptu reality slap. “No, I want to be friends with everyone.”

They successfully exchange numbers, and Jihoon sees them off. “Please message me when you get home. Take care!”

Woojin smiles like a puppy praised for doing number two in the pooping pad, and Daehwi waves back.

 

Jinyoung and Woojin drop Daehwi first off, then proceeding to go home after. The two are all smiles as they recollect every single moment they did for the three days. Woojin smiles like the world has given him everything he wants and Jinyoung can’t help but do the same, too.

They open the door to see their parents, sitting in the living room. They seem like they really waited for the two to come home, and the whole atmosphere is so uncomfortable Jinyoung wants to go out and never come back.

“Welcome home,” their mom says, leaning forward to kiss Woojin’s cheek.

“How was your vacation?” their dad asks, through clenched teeth. Jinyoung’s alarm bells are ringing incessantly in his head, sensing something must be wrong, but he brushes it off with a shrug as he leans forward to receive his dad’s blessing.

“Oh, everything went well. We had so much fun, and we feel refreshed.” Woojin answers, but his dad’s gaze never leaves Jinyoung. He gulps.

“It was so fun, so refreshed, and so… hmm, _immoral?_ ”

A tensed silence covers the whole house.

“What do you mean, dad?” Woojin asks, clearly befuddled.

His dad reaches toward the coffee table. “I’m talking about _these,_ ” he says, throwing the folder straight into Jinyoung’s face. Jinyoung is beyond shocked. Woojin yells, “DAD!” and his mom rushes toward her husband, trying to comfort him. His dad brushes his mom off brusquely, and her arms are limply hanging from lack of power.

Jinyoung gingerly picks up the folder thrown at him. He fingers through the contents and all the color drains in his face.

Inside are photos of him and Daehwi, on their way to the secluded cottage, where they spent time exploring each other’s domains. A million questions are swimming in his head, and he suddenly feels the tears coming out from his eyes.

Woojin reaches out to the folder and to the pictures. He looks through those, his expressions unreadable.

“What the hell is that, Jinyoung?” His dad nearly yells at his face. He can feel the icy coldness of his father’s gaze, so he keeps his head bowed down.

Jinyoung does not expect this to happen ever. He never saw this happening, so everything is a mishmash of emotions right now. Being out and accepted by his brother is relieving, but doing the same thing to his parents is an entirely different one. It’s not really intended to happen, and Jinyoung is utterly speechless, as if his tongue had refused to cooperate with his brain. He just stands there, his tears continuously flowing down his face. His tear-streaked face shows pain, sadness and anger, but not to his parents. The anger is directed to himself. He suddenly feels stupid. Why did he loosen his guard that easily? Why did he let his innermost emotions rule over him? Why didn’t he use his rational thinking? Why was he so selfish that time?

Jinyoung is thinking of the consequences. Surely, they would ask him to break up with Daehwi. Send him off somewhere far away? Possible. Confiscate his phone to cut off contact with Daehwi? Check. Forcing him to leave Daehwi? Of course, it would happen.

Bae Jinyoung can’t take it. He can’t take being pulled away from his source of strength, joy and will to live. Pulling him away from Daehwi would mean taking away his half. Jinyoung just can’t imagine it.

“I love him. You will never take him away from me.”

Suddenly, a blinding pain consumes him, pushing him to the ground. His father aims a punch at his face, after slapping him on the cheek. His mom screeches, “Stop it!” and Woojin is shielding him to his father, receiving the punches and hits from his dad. Jinyoung breaks into sobs, clutching his brother’s arm, crying.

“You immoral brat,” his father says, with a voice full of anger and disgust, “are fraternizing with the agents of the Devil. You are immoral; I never raised you to be like this!”

“You are so disgusting I want to kill you, Bae Jinyoung. You are disappointing; I don’t have a son like you.” His father spits into his face. Jinyoung cries harder. Woojin pushes his father away from him. His father loses his footing, and he hits the ground. His mom screamed at them to stop, but to no avail.

“Why you ungrateful –“ his father stands up to hit Woojin as well.

“Do it. DO IT!”

Woojin screams to his father’s face.

“I understand you being mad but this is too much. Jinyoung’s a disappointment because he’s gay? Well, you are also a disappointment to me. You are a disappointing father, and you don’t deserve to have a happy family life because you think this kind of love is wrong.” His voice is surprisingly stable, contrary to his face wet with salty tears.

“You taught us that love is never wrong, yet you are spitting on Jinyoung’s face as if he disgraced you and your family. What a hypocrite you are, Dad. I’m very ashamed to be your son.”

His mom slaps him with a resounding clap, and Woojin raises his hand to cup his reddening cheek.

“You have no right to talk to us like that, Woojin-ah,” his mom hisses.

“And you have the right to talk down to us?” Woojin answers back.

“Mom, whatever happened to equality and embracing everyone because God wants us to love everyone? Do you know the reason why Jinyoung didn’t come out properly to you? It’s because you are all going to judge him, and I guess he’s right.

“Do you know why people like Jinyoung do not trust the church? Do you know why you struggle to keep the numbers in the church afloat? It’s because what you preach in the pulpit, in the group Bible study sessions and to people outside when you do evangelical works, is completely parallel to what you practice at home as individuals. God taught us to love each other, regardless of the color, sex and any other barriers. But look at both of you. You treated Jinyoung like trash after knowing his secret, and you expect people to come to the pulpit and accept God? You disgust me for being so hypocritical. The apostles must be ashamed to have you with them in heaven; you disgust me as your son and as a person. _You’re disappointing, mom, and dad.”_

Woojin is shaking as he says all of this. Jinyoung weakly grabs his brother’s arms, telling him to stop. His parents are beyond shocked.

His father is the first to recover. “Get out of this house, Jinyoung-ah. I don’t have an immoral son.”

Jinyoung scrambles to his feet. “Dad, please don’t do this to me.” He chokes through a sob, trying to cling to his father’s leg.

His father jerks at the immediate contact, making Jinyoung withdraw his arm. “Get off me, you scum.” He leaves the room, his mom tailing after him.

 

Jinyoung cries to Woojin. They go to the other’s room, after packing Jinyoung’s bags. His father confiscates his credit cards, his phone and even his wallet, leaving him penniless. Woojin packs his bags as well, announcing to the household that he would be leaving with his brother as well.

_“Consider yourselves childless from now on, I’m leaving with Jihoon,” Woojin says, throwing his credit cards as well. His father tries to grab his phone away from him, but Woojin just won’t give it to him. “I bought this, this is mine.”_

 

Jinyoung cries to Woojin, harder, choking through sobs. “What will happen to us, hyung? You don’t have to do it; I can leave on my own.”

Woojin zips his bag shut, looking at the younger. “Wherever you go, I’ll go. Remember Ruth and Naomi? I will never leave you.” He tries to smile at Jinyoung.

“Seriously, hyung, you don’t have to do this.”

“This is my choice, and it is for me to decide, not yours. I’m leaving this house with you, and that’s it.”

Jinyoung feels a fresh wave of tears and sobs coming out, so he grabs his brother into a hug.

“Hyung, I’m very, very sorry. I should have been more careful,” Jinyoung says through sad tears. Woojin taps his back, rubbing comforting circles around him.

 

Woojin knows the future will be bleak for both of them. However, having a bleak future with a sure source of joy and happiness is better than having a secured future but having a fake happiness that brings no true smiles and contentment to them when they sleep at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is the tenth chapter. ^^ We are nearing the end of this fic, and I'm excited on how this chapter will fare compared to the others.
> 
> Yep, this is angsty and all bittersweet, but this is reality. It's been so long since I wrote angst and I felt rusty haha. Woojin is like, the reveal of this chapter, and I am shocked myself while writing him. Sorry if I made him rude, the story needs it.
> 
> I have no more time to beta this as of now, but I will beta this as soon as I get the time.
> 
> Please keep on loving this fic. This is so precious to me. I love you all! ^^
> 
> Water me Curiouscat: @minhyungshyung
> 
> Thank you very much for the love, kudos, hits and comments. You are all amazing!


	11. NOT AN UPDATE!

Hello, everyone! This is  _ **haknyeonsmrjoo**_ and I would like to apologize to everyone who waited for a long time for my updates. I'm very sorry because you know, the most hated enemy of writers attacked me. YEAH, I got writer's block. But don't worry because I'm all fine now! I will supply you all with the next chapters this coming week. I will do my best to make it up to you.

Once again, I apologize and I love you all!

 

PS: I saw a ton load of emails asking for the alternate versions, and I will send it to all of you once I get to finish it! I love you!

PPS: Water me Curiouscat! @minhyungshyung


	12. eleven. resistenza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bae Jinyoung does a huge leap of faith, only to be received coldly by Lee Daehwi at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance, please forgive me. T_T

**_eleven. resistenza_ **

**_***_ **

****

It has been two weeks since Woojin and Jinyoung had left their house after the huge fight they just had upon discovering that Jinyoung is gay. Their parents have no idea where they are right now, as they changed phone numbers. It’s hard for Jinyoung, because he loves his parents very much, but he just gets reminded of how disgusted they were when they realized their sweet son is cavorting with a fellow man.

Woojin hears Jinyoung cry himself to sleep on some nights, but he speaks to him always that it’s okay to be away from home. “We’re bound to leave them soon, anyway. We just decided to do this in advance,” he always tells Jinyoung. Then the other would hug him to sleep.

They are now living with Jisung, their eldest cousin. Jisung lives in a flat in the metro, and he is not close to either of the boys’ parents, but they still recognize him as family. Maybe this stems from the fact that Jisung is raised an atheist, agnostic or theist of some sort, which brought frowns and raised eyebrows from Jinyoung’s family. You see, Jinyoung’s family can be the poster family for evangelization for all they want, which makes them a little distant from the other family members, especially to Jisung’s.

“I knew this would happen. No one in their right Catholic mind would accept a gay man in their household, no matter how hard they try to convince everyone that they love people of all colors,” Jisung says nonchalantly right after Woojin had told him the story why they went to Jisung’s place. Good thing Jisung is free and in his house the moment they called. It’s because Jisung’s job asks him to go to different places, and his house is basically a changing room and a rest stop for him.

“Hyung, please.” Woojin casts a wary glance towards Jinyoung, who had settled himself on the couch, dressing his wound with fresh gauze.

“I’m sorry, Woojin,” the older apologizes.

The two of them stare at the young man, with his shoulders hunched and eyes tired. Woojin wants to shoulder his brother’s worries, but he also has worries as well. However, it’s not the right time to tell that to him. _Maybe later,_ he thinks.

 

The next day, Jisung leaves Jinyoung and Woojin the keys to his flat. He needs to go back to work, and he’ll be away for two weeks, so the place is theirs for the time being.

“Use this,” Jisung hands a black credit card to Woojin, whose eyes have widened (and that’s saying something, because Woojin has slits for eyes) upon seeing the shiny piece of plastic.

“Ah, hyung, no, it’s too much,” he denies, pushing the plastic back at Jisung.

“No, take it. Use this to buy food and stuff; I don’t like to see the both of you starving. Just clean my house in return, I’m okay with it,” Jisung says with a smile.

Woojin chuckles, nodding immediately.

“Call me when something happens,” he says before leaving the place.

The younger sees him off, then closing the door.

 

Jinyoung still hasn’t called Daehwi. The younger is still clueless with what had happened after their beach vacation.

He misses his boyfriend, no doubt about that. But his wounds are taking a longer time to heal, and he doesn’t want to scare him and the explanation will go on and on and he’s afraid Daehwi would confront his parents, and worse, the whole congregation. That’s the last thing he wants to happen.

He sends a text to him once his wounds looked healed at least, meeting him at a café below Jisung’s flat.

 

“I already know what happened, you stone head.”

Daehwi leans over Jinyoung, smacking him on top of his head. Jinyoung chokes over his iced caramel macchiato, scratching the back of his neck.

“And don’t ask me how, I just got everything right.”

Jinyoung remembers Daehwi can see and hear other people’s thoughts, and unfortunately, he knows everything.

“I want to go to your church.”

“No, Daehwi,” Jinyoung says.

“I mean, how can they do this to their own flesh and blood?” Daehwi’s words are softly spoken, afraid people might hear it, but the words are threaded with pure anger and confusion. “They should have understood you, and love is never wrong. That’s what your church preaches, right?”

Jinyoung nods in response. He looks outside the window.

Daehwi looks at something on his phone once, and then tears his gaze away.

“Hyung, do you still like me?”

That question sharply brings back Jinyoung’s attention to Daehwi.

“Why did you ask that?”

“Hyung, I can see your thoughts, right? It’s a jumbled mess right now,” Daehwi says, stirring his drink lazily, as though reading other people’s thoughts is not a creepy thing to do, as though people do it in a daily basis. “I know you love your parents, and you love me too. I love you very much, hyung. It pains me to see your eyes always bloodshot, your dark circles and I just want the best for you.”

Wait. Is this Lee Daehwi? The Lee Daehwi he’s dating right now?

“But why are you the one hesitating now?” Jinyoung gingerly throws the ball at his court.

“Don’t get me wrong, hyung. I still love you, you know that. But if I’m getting in the way, I’d be willing to...” Daehwi does not finish his sentence.

Jinyoung feels numb, his mouth gaping. He and his brother left their parents without any hesitation because he wants to show them how powerful and sufficient the love between him and Daehwi can be. He even bore the wounds from the battle. And now, he hears Daehwi _hesitating over their relationship?_

He feels hurt.

“So you want to leave me, huh? After all I’ve been through?”

Daehwi’s face is devoid of emotion. It’s hard to read right now, which feels odd to him. The Lee Daehwi he knows is an open book. He can easily see if he’s mad, happy, and sad or whatever emotion he feels. He is not hard to read, actually.

But now, it’s different.

Daehwi is silent.

“Daehwi, why?”

“I just want the best for you, I just realized. Maybe I’m not the one for you.” His voice is still dry of any feeling. This confuses Jinyoung even more.

He gets impatient and frustrated by Daehwi’s sudden lack of emotion. He was just threatening to destroy the harmonious communion of their church moments ago, but now, what happened?

“What the fuck is going on?”

Daehwi’s eyes quivered a little upon hearing the other curse. Jinyoung never curses, so it’s a first for him. That means it must have been really angry.

“Hyung, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know what’s happening to me right now. One moment, I love you and I want you by my side all the time. The next, I want you out of my life. Hyung, I might be confused but please be with me. Please try to understand me. Please,” Daehwi says, tears lining his eyes.

Jinyoung grabs his hand on the table, caressing it in a comforting manner. “I will, don’t leave me too. I lost half of my family; I don’t want to lose you now.”

Daehwi smiles a bittersweet smile. “I will, I promise.”

 

Daehwi thinks, _should I leave him for his good or stay for his good?_ He looks at the message on his phone. He cries silently, hoping that Jinyoung would forgive him for whatever he would do. He just wants the best for him.

It’s not the typical Daehwi but he needs to do this.

 _Hope you can forgive me, hyung. I love you very much, it kills me slowly,_ he thinks as he grabs a piece of paper and a pen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is not really what I had in mind, but it doesn't kill you to have a sudden change of plans, right? I have planned this well, though I have been contemplating about adding more angst or fluffing it towards the end, I don't know myself right now, really. I'm sorry.
> 
> I'm also sorry for being inactive for a while, it's because I got writer's block and laziness hit me. Believe me, I want to finish this right away, but watching reruns of Top Model is temptation enough. I do apologize.
> 
> Also, there might be one last rated chapter towards the end of this fic, but I'm still contemplating on it. This one would be very significant, if ever this would push through.
> 
> I'm sorry the author is such an inconsistent mess.
> 
> Water me Curiouscat! @minhyungshyung
> 
> Also, I will be seeing Wanna One in Manila tomorrow! Yay! I would be giving Jinhwi banners (I think???), anyway see you! ^^
> 
> Comments, kudos and hits are very much appreciated. I love all of you! :)


	13. twelve. quia nunc vale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Daehwi asks for one more day to love Bae Jinyoung, before he does a reset and leaves him for a bitter goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote is from Davichi's "It's Okay, That's Love."
> 
> Written with Sistar's "One More Day" on endless loop.

**_twelve._ ** **_quia nunc vale_ ** ****

**_***_ **

_"_ _My heart hurts when I see you, it’s alright, it’s love. My flawed heart and my love, will you accept it? Me?”_

Jinyoung wakes up to a text from Daehwi, asking him to spend the day with him. He was about to reply when he hears a knock and Woojin’s head peeks out.

“Ya, stand up. Daehwi’s here, entertain him.”

Jinyoung is surprised now. Last time they met, they had a sort of a fight and it ended awkwardly (at least for him), and he’s relieved Daehwi still wants to see him. He asks himself, why do these thoughts plague him? Unfortunately, he cannot come up with an answer strong, because all that he can think are feeble murmurs, not loud enough to make the point across.

He fixes himself and comes out of the room.

Daehwi is there, all smiley and he has a throw pillow sitting on his lap. Jinyoung raises an eyebrow.

“Hello, hyung!”

Daehwi reaches for Jinyoung, giving him a kiss right on the lips. Jinyoung thinks his morning breath stinks and his mouth tastes bitter, but Daehwi’s warmness is convincing him to reciprocate the action. They part shortly after, and Jinyoung asks, “What’s the matter? Are you going somewhere?”

Daehwi seems to be taken aback for a while, but he quickly recovers. “No, I just wanted to spend this day with you, if that is okay?”

He chuckles. “Of course, why not?” he says as he engulfs the other one into a hug. “So what’s the plan?”

Daehwi looks up at him. “Well, we have to do everything at my place, though. Let’s use the plates there more often,” he giggles.

Jinyoung nods. “Okay, but let me change and take a bath first.”

 

Daehwi smiles as Jinyoung rises up, going to his room to get his clothes. His smile drops the moment he hears the door click.

_One more day, for me to say goodbye._

Daehwi cooks for Jinyoung in his kitchen. It’s not just their regular ramen and spam with rice lunch, but Daehwi cooks a decent homemade dish for him. Jinyoung is very surprised his boyfriend can cook aside from instant food.

“This food tastes good. I never knew you can cook,” Jinyoung compliments Daehwi’s kimchi stew and bulgogi dish.

Daehwi smiles. “Glad you like it!”

Jinyoung happily munches in front of him. _I’m happy I made you smile, even for the last moments._

They spend their day watching movies, documentaries and anything Daehwi and Jinyoung would have their interest on. They watch TV in the living room, a tangle of limbs underneath the blankets as Daehwi sobs after seeing Junghwan give up on Dukseon to Taek.

“Why is Junghwan like that?”

Jinyoung looks at him. “Well, he guesses it’s over because Taek really loves Dukseon and that’s what he can do to make Dukseon happy. I know it sounds like crap but he needs to get over it. I still think he’s the best man in the story, though.”

“What made you say that?”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows are furrowed.

“Well, you know when they say, if you really love the person, you’ll set him free? I think Junghwan knows Dukseon won’t be happy even though he is, so he decided to give her up in order to see Dukseon smile, because she’s genuinely happy.”

Jinyoung strokes Daehwi’s hair. “Sometimes, we need to let people go just to make them happy.”

It hits a chord in his heart.

_You already know about this, so I hope you understand why._

Night falls on them.

Daehwi stands up and goes to his room. He comes back with a small box in his hand.

“Hyung, I want to give you something.”

Jinyoung hums, telling him to continue.

Daehwi approaches him and opens the box. Inside was a silver necklace with a ring pendant on it.

“Ya, you’re putting pressure on me, Daehwi-ya,” Jinyoung jokes, punching him playfully on the arm. Daehwi smiled. “No, it’s not that! Let me finish!”

“Okay.”

Daehwi goes at the back, getting the necklace out of the box. “This is me,” he points to the pendant, “and I will always be close to your heart no matter what happens. This chain binds us, so meaning, I will still be with you no matter how invisible I am.”

Jinyoung feels the coolness of the metal coming into contact to his warm skin. He traces the inside of the ring with his forefinger.

“There’s something written on it.”

“Read it!” Daehwi commands. Jinyoung obeys.

Jinyoung can read “Forever Daehwi’s” engraved from the inside of the ring, cursive and loopy letters decorating it. He smiles.

“Why are you doing this, Daehwi? Are you leaving me?”

Daehwi’s eyes widen for a bit. “No, don’t be too paranoid. I just feel like giving things and hey, you should appreciate my efforts. I’m doing my best to be a stereotypical boyfriend to you, you know.”

Jinyoung seems to buy it. “Okay, but you have to wait for me to have money. I will buy you a ring.”

Daehwi just smiles.

_I’m sorry, hyung, but you can keep the ring to yourself._

 

Jinyoung announces he’s going home when he hears Daehwi whine.

“Daehwi, I have to go home. Woojin hyung’s gonna be batshit crazy if I don’t go home tonight.”

“Don’t worry; Woojinnie hyung is fine with it. I asked for his permission, not because you need it, but it’s because you’re just notifying him. Whatever, it doesn’t make sense. Just stay here, he knows it already.” Daehwi slowly wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s waist.

Jinyoung laughs. “Ya, okay, okay. Guess you’re going to have to share the bed with me.”

“Is that even the issue?” Daehwi chortles. “The issue is, will you get to wake up with your clothes still on?”

Jinyoung knows that devilish smirk. He wants to do it with Daehwi again, because it seems like a long time since they last did it, and knowing his boyfriend, he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

“I love you, Bae Jinyoung,” Daehwi says as his hands snake inside his shirt, caressing his back. “I love you very much.”

Daehwi closes the gap between them, in a kiss with the right amounts of passion and love. Jinyoung’s hands are glued on the small of Daehwi’s back. The kiss gives them the sensation of completing a huge piece of jigsaw puzzle, the pieces falling into place, seemingly right and perfect and all the points positive.

They gasp for air, their eyes filled with love and longing for each other. Daehwi locks his gaze even more to Jinyoung, as though memorizing every detail of his boyfriend’s gorgeous face. They lock lips again, and this time, it riles the both of them up.

Carrying Daehwi bridal-style into his room, Jinyoung lays him gently on the bed, while stripping him of all clothing. Once he’s done, he lunges straight at Daehwi and freeing him of articles of clothing as well. The kiss is heightened with ardor, and they touch each other’s bodies with the feel of them trying to memorize everything from each other.

They do the Devil’s dance all through the night, and Jinyoung finally collapses on top of Daehwi. His hair is disheveled and wet with sweat, his chest heaving and his eyes are heavily lidded as sleep finally settles on him. He sleeps with a content smile in his face, hugging Daehwi closer to him, the other’s face on his naked chest.

 

Watching Jinyoung settle peacefully in front of him, his chest heaving up and down in a content way, Daehwi feels his heart squeezing it of all feelings out of him. It hurts, but he needs to bear with it. It hurts, but he knows it’s for the best, not only for him but also for everyone else around him.

He reaches for his phone on the bedside table, opening that message bubble that popped into his phone hours ago. He types a simple, “Thank you very much” and hits send.

He needs to memorize everything, to embed everything in his head as a remembrance of this beautiful yet painful memory for him. “I’m very sorry, Jinyoung. I love you very much.”

 

Meanwhile, in Jisung’s flat, Woojin sighs as he reads Daehwi’s message that he sent moments ago. He looks at the stars above him, gracing his window with intricate patterns and sparkly lights. He sighs once again, as he remembers how it would be for Jinyoung, after he wakes up the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Finally I managed to squeeze this out of my head after torturing myself on how I would deliver this update. I'm really happy with everyone's reception to this fic, be it positive or negative, and I hope this continues till the end.
> 
> I still have to choose between a happy ending and an angsty one to cap this fic, but let's see how this one goes.
> 
> My Curiouscat is still open, and I am waiting for your comments! Thank you very much for the kudos and hits, I really appreciate everything.
> 
> Lastly, I have decided that I won't write the rated version of this chapter because it would ruin the angst in my opinion. I still hope you're here for the continuity of this fic, haha.
> 
> I love you all! xxxx


	14. thirteen. contritum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Daehwi makes a sacrifice for Bae Jinyoung, who thinks that his leap of faith was turned to waste.

**_thirteen. contritum_ **

**_***_ **

****

_“how many time can we win and lose,_

_how many times do we break the rules…_

_only teardrops…”_

 

Jinyoung wakes up to the bright sunlight filling in the room. The curtains are drawn open, allowing the sunlight to come inside the room, filling the space with pure light. He stirs in his sleep, his eyes half closed.

 

He reaches out to Daehwi on the other side of the bed, but his hands only felt the flat space of the bed. His eyes open wide, the blank feeling waking him up in an instant.

 

_Where’s Daehwi?_

 

He scrambles to get up from the bed, not bothering to put a shirt on. He just grabs his boxer briefs lying near the bedpost and wears it, rushing towards the door.

 

“Lee Daehwi? Where are you?”

 

He’s not in the living room, nor in the bathroom and in the kitchen. Instead, Jinyoung sees the back of someone who is definitely not Daehwi. His back is broader than Daehwi, and he is facing the sink as he washes the dishes.

 

Said back turns to see Jinyoung. The young man is very handsome, at one point Jinyoung just blanked out in sheer admiration of the beauty in front of him. The man has an uncanny resemblance to a desert fox, and his eyes looked cold and chic. Jinyoung suddenly becomes aware of his being underdressed, and in instinct, he covered his chest and groin with his hands. The man suddenly chuckles.

 

“Hwang Minhyun, you must be Jinyoung?” he offers his hand, and Jinyoung takes it, then putting it back on his groin.

 

Jinyoung nods. “Where’s Daehwi?”

 

“Oh, you must be his boyfriend. We need to talk about something,” Minhyun’s face becomes cold and uncaring again, “after you finish dressing yourself. I’ll be in the living room when you get done.”

 

Jinyoung bows then goes back to the room, dressing himself with a feeling of confusion and blankness. _Where is Daehwi? Why is his brother here? What the hell is going on?_

 

Jinyoung sees Minhyun’s back on the couch, and he clears his throat to make his presence known to the older. Minhyun turns, and he asks him to take a seat.

 

“Where is Daehwi, Minhyun-ssi?” Jinyoung tentatively asks the older.

 

“Call me hyung, you’re my brother’s boyfriend,” a warm smile occupies his cold features, and it creates an unfreezing effect to the atmosphere.

 

“You may need time to read this, I think.” Minhyun pushes a piece of paper towards Jinyoung on the coffee table. Jinyoung gingerly reaches for the paper. The edges feel sharper to his fingers, but he ignores it, opening the letter in haste.

 

 

The letter talks about Daehwi leaving Jinyoung and everyone else around him, telling him he needs to go back to his parents, and forget everything about them. Jinyoung’s tears flow freely as he reads the letter, bearing with him the confused feeling of why Daehwi would choose to leave, even though everything looks fine. _I even defended him to my family. I risked my family just to show them I really love him, only to be left alone in return._

Minhyun moves from his spot on the sofa to Jinyoung’s side. He slowly pulls the younger towards him, enclosing him into a hug. He rubs comforting circles to the sobbing younger.

 

“Daehwi called me last night, and he sounded like he is in a hurry to leave this place. He told me not to tell you where he’s going, which kinda confused me. We’re close, but this is the first time it happened. I’m quite baffled too, I don’t know what’s happening,” Minhyun explains.

 

“We were happy yesterday.”

 

Minhyun sighs. “I’m so sorry about this, Jinyoung. As much as I want to help you with this, I don’t know how because he is so secretive about most things.”

 

Jinyoung feels weak on the knees. He cannot stand well, and his mind is still hazy. Minhyun offers him for a ride back home, which Jinyoung mutely accepts. Minhyun drops him off in front of Jisung’s flat, and leaves his number with him, telling him to call him in case he needs something.

 

He drags his feet to the elevator. When it opens, he pressed the number of his floor and he slumps on the floor. Fresh tears are flowing free in his cheeks, the salty liquid passes on his lips and he can taste how salty it is, and he cries more.

 

Woojin hears the doorbell ring, and he opens the door to accept a wobbling Jinyoung. The older restrains his tears from falling as he sees how devastated and wrecked his younger brother is.

 

“Hyung,” Jinyoung chokes in between sobs, “why did Daehwi leave me?”

 

Woojin sniffs on Jinyoung’s hair, rubbing circles on the other’s back.

 

“Daehwi needs to sacrifice for you, Jinyoung-ah,” he starts. “He doesn’t want seeing you broken like this. He knows how you love our family very much, even though they didn’t bat an eyelash on us leaving them for good. He doesn’t want you to be hurt in the long run, and he can’t take it when people talk about you behind your back. He looks happy on the outside, but he is hurting for you on the inside. His bitchy attitude is just his defense mechanism, just to show them he is not bothered as long as it’s not you. But it’s you now, Jinyoung-ah, and Daehwi couldn’t take it.”

 

“Why didn’t he talk to me about it?” Jinyoung asks.

 

“Remember, Daehwi can read your thoughts and he knows that it’s hard for you, too. He just thought of you, and he just did what he thought is right. Please understand him; it’s been hard for him, too.”

 

“Mom actually went to Daehwi’s house to ask about you.”

 

Jinyoung pulls from the hug, looking at his brother’s face with bloodshot eyes. “What do you mean?”

 

Woojin contemplates for a little, and then continues. “Mom went to Daehwi’s house the morning after we left the house. He told her that we’re not there, and Mom talked to him about you.”

 

“Mom wants Daehwi to stay away from you, because she doesn’t like the idea of her family breaking and shattered all because her youngest son decides to fall in love with a man. Of course, Daehwi defended you, and he told her love is never wrong.”

 

“Then Mom told him your dream was to have a family, with children of your own. She asked Daehwi if he can give you that. She asked him if he can fulfill your dream. Daehwi had nothing to answer, and she said that she made her point clear. She asked Daehwi to be considerate, but not without an insult from her. She called him a swine, an immoral homosexual and Daehwi had to threaten her with the flower vase just to leave.”

 

Jinyoung’s ears are reddening, not because of shame for himself, but for his boyfriend.

 

“Daehwi called me and he cried so much. I went to his house and he said he would be selfish if he would just hold on to you. He said he’s ready to forget you, all for the sake of your happiness. That’s why he told me he’ll be leaving soon, and he texted me last night, telling me he’ll go somewhere far from you.”

Jinyoung just couldn’t understand everything now.

 

“So that’s easy for him forgetting about what’s between us? He thought my feelings can be discarded? He thought I cannot give up on my dream just because he couldn’t give it to me? Hyung, that’s unfair.” Jinyoung’s voice becomes hoarse from too much crying.

 

His eyes hurt from too much crying.

 

His heart is breaking from too much agony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I'm so sorry for making you all wait, and I feel that this chapter is also lacking on so many levels.
> 
> Honestly, writer's block attacked me and I was too busy with office work that's why I cannot even sneak in writing these. When my block has been cleared, I was stuck on how to have a transition on this chapter. I know this is not satisfying, and I'm so sorry about that. I promise to write better updates in the future. Please continue supporting me!
> 
> The quote is from "Only Teardrops" by Emmelie de Forest. That song is amazing and I am now hooked to Eurovision, so please talk to me if you like it too!
> 
> Also, last two updates and this fic is finished. Please anticipate for the happy ending (yes, I have decided) and I hope you continue supporting my works. I'm planning to have another series, so please keep your anticipation high!
> 
> Finally, I know it's a stretch but I do hope you get to nominate me on the Wanna One Awards haha. :) I love you, everyone!
> 
> My lines are open: email (minhyungshyung@gmail.com) and Curiouscat (@minhyungshyung) and I do love receiving comments from you all. Keep the kudos coming!
> 
> Sorry for the long endnote. Bye for now! :)


	15. fourteen. grado di separazione

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later, a renaissance happens.

**_Two years later…_ **

 

Jinyoung goes back to his parents’ house, realizing that he won’t have a shot at getting Daehwi back (which, by the way, is still not responding to his calls or texts). His parents hug him and Woojin, welcoming them back to their fold. Jinyoung still harbors feelings of resentment towards his parents, but he decides it’s not the best to push his causes even further, now that his moral compass is gone, and therefore his rebellion would bear nothing.

He graduates with a degree of theater arts, and is now preparing for his audition in a relatively known acting agency. His parents settled to Australia after his graduation, and he’s living with Woojin in a shared flat in Seoul.

Woojin and Jihoon are still communicating to each other, actually slowly progressing into a stable relationship. Woojin, however, does not let his parents know about this, and he has no other plans to do so. Jinyoung still envies his brother’s steel will, and hopes he could have this quality soon when he needs it the most.

“I can’t believe we’re having an actor in the family,” Woojin looks at him, a cup of coffee in his hand, as Jinyoung flattens the front of his dress shirt in front of the mirror. Today’s the big day for Jinyoung, and he’s also hoping for the best.

“Shut it, I’m not yet signing anything,” Jinyoung grumbles, his pout showing once again.

Woojin stands up and gently flicks his lower lip. “Be positive, and just think that Daehwi’s supporting you, no matter what,” he says nonchalantly.

Jinyoung stiffens upon hearing the name, but he shrugs it off in a fraction of a second.

“You can do it, Jinyoung-ah,” Woojin claps his back. “I believe in you!”

Jinyoung smiles and murmurs a word of thanks, before wearing his shoes and stepping out of the flat.

* * *

 

Jinyoung finishes the audition with positive feedback from the panel. They compliment him particularly in channeling the emotions well, as though he himself “had the shorter side of the stick in the relationship,” to quote the director. He’s coming back next week for an interview and most likely, signing a trainee contract under their agency.

He walks out of the Gangnam building with a broad smile plastered on his lips, humming to himself.

“I would surprise Woojin hyung with a cake, and some treats, because I’m feeling like a good brother today,” he tells himself as he drives along the road, looking outside for a nice café. He also needs his coffee boost, though he could hear Daehwi nagging him not to drink much coffee.

_It would give you under eye circles, hyung. Stop being ridiculous!_

To be honest, this is Daehwi’s dream for him. He wants Jinyoung to effortlessly switch from one personality to another, in hopes that this would help him know who Bae Jinyoung really is. Sadly, he’s not with him to celebrate another success in his life.

He stops at a newly opened café, judging by the wreaths of flowers placed on both sides of the doorway. An intoxicating smell of freshly baked bread wafts through the sidewalk. Jinyoung sniffs at it, like a K-9 sniffing dog in Incheon Airport.

He parks the car outside, and strolls inside the café. The scent of cappuccino penetrates through his nose, and he savors the smell as he stands in front of the counter.

“What would you like to have, sir?” the person behind the counter asks him.

Jinyoung, who is now scrolling through his phone for unread messages, answers. “One venti cappuccino, piping hot, with a pump of caramel, and a box of blueberry cheesecake, please.”

“Would there be anything else?”

“Yes, can I have a—“

Jinyoung stops midsentence, as he lifts his head up to look at the cashier, and what he sees just robbed him of his next words, and maybe his breaths.

 

Lee Daehwi is standing in front of him, dressed in a black vest over a white dress shirt, a navy blue apron strung around his slender waist. He has grapefruit orange hair now, and still not looking at Bae Jinyoung, who is now with his jaw on the floor.

* * *

 

“One venti cappuccino, piping hot, with a pump of caramel, and a box of blueberry cheesecake, please.”

Daehwi punches in the orders in the register, when he remembers to ask the customer if he would like to have the special menu for today, which are mango tarts with cheese.

“Would there be anything else?”

“Yes, can I have a –“

He waits for the man to finish his sentence, and when he realized the guy hasn’t spoken for three seconds, looks up to ask him eye to eye.

His eyes meet those pair of eyes. Those pair of eyes he used to remember waking him up every morning, smiling at him all day.

 

Bae Jinyoung is standing in front of him, still as dashing as ever. He realizes something, that this is already fate talking to him, saying that this is that chance, grab it.

* * *

 

“Jinyoung hyung.” Daehwi starts, trying his best not to stutter, or choke.

Jinyoung looks at him straight in the eye. “Daehwi.”

 

“It’s been a long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm finally back!
> 
> I'm so sorry if I had you waiting for so long. I had to struggle with bouts of writer's block, anxiety attacks, adult responsibilities, and laziness. Actually, I've been meaning to write the final two chapters way back February, but yeah, those four monsters of the Apocalypse tried dragging me to hell.
> 
> Title taken from "Nessun grado di separazione" by Francesca Michielin.
> 
> I hope you like this one, and I will finish this goddamn fic for everyone's closure. I love you all, and thank you very much for waiting!

**Author's Note:**

> this is what listening to beyonce's crazy in love fifty shades version got me.
> 
> unbeta'd. sorry!
> 
> talk to me on curiouscat: minhyungshyung


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